Going Through the Trans in Transgender

Meet Drew, a 20 year old transgender male. He was born female and used to go by the name, Kacey. Although Kacey can be a name for both genders, he decided to change his name to Drew so he would have a fresh start. “I did not want people calling me Kacey. That was my girl name, the person I did not want to be. I am Drew, this is who I am.”

I knew Drew before his transition. I met him as Kacey and I had no idea that he didn’t want to be who “she’ was. Kacey was one of my best friends. She came to my high school my sophomore year and we instantly clicked. She identified as female and lesbian. She was a dyke which means she dressed like a boy and she even had short hair. We had an inside joke that she looked like Jimmy Neutron. Before we would go to class we would say, “Gotta blast!” She seemed happy in her own skin, at least I thought she did.

“I was happy,” he explained as I asked questions I never had the answers to. He looked so different from the last time I saw him. The last time I saw Drew was when he went by Kacey and was a girl. It was so strange to hear his deep voice and see facial hair on his manly facial features. I tried not to seem too taken aback but it took some getting used to! I asked him when he knew he was a boy. “I had always known that I was different. I always knew I liked girls but I didn’t feel like that’s what made me different. What made me different was the fact that I had a vagina and breasts when I knew I was a boy. Why did I get mixed up? Ever since I was little, I was more of a tomboy type of girl. I never played with dolls and never wanted to be a princess when I grew up. I always just wanted to be a boy,” he replied. This is a common feeling transgender people have. They have felt different and usually don’t know the reasons why until they are older and understand what transgender actually means.

“I identified as lesbian in high school just for that reason, I did not know what everything meant and I never embraced how I truly felt all my life. I felt like a boy but I didn’t know how to wrap my head around it so I shoved that part of me down. I never forgot about it though. No matter how hard I tried to tell myself that I was crazy, it felt right. I didn’t fully embrace my true self until after high school. Part of me did this on purpose to avoid being bullied worse than I already was.” When I heard Drew say this, everything finally made sense. He tried to make himself believe he was something he wasn’t because he was genuinely terrified of what people would think, especially his loved ones.

Once Drew graduated, he decided to fully embrace his sexuality. He saved up enough money to start testosterone therapy. According to Scottsdale Restorative Medicine, testosterone therapy costs vary, “Because there are so many variables to consider when calculating the monthly cost of testosterone therapy, it can be very difficult to nail down a number. In fact, the cost can increase and decrease on a monthly, or sometimes weekly, basis as you and your therapist attempt to balance your dosages and concentrations.” Drew said his testosterone therapy costs around $150 to $200 per month. Next, he explained the process and all the trials that came along with the successes. “At first, I was skeptical if it would even work. I decided to stick with it and document my progress weekly. At first, I felt different but didn’t notice any changes. As the weeks went on, my voice began to change and I even started growing facial hair. I was so happy! Once my mom started to notice these changes, she expressed he disapproval more than she ever had in the past. Of course this felt like a burning knife being scorched through my heart, but I was used to it. My mom always pulls the “what ever happened to my baby girl” card on me. No matter how many times I try to explain, she still doesn’t get it and I have sadly learned to accept this reality. Anyway, back to the testosterone. There were times where I thought I would have to stop taking it because I didn’t have enough money for the monthly supply. Somehow, I always found a way to scrounge up enough money because when you want something, you get it.”

Now, Kacey identifies as male and even looks like a boy. He has not had sexual reassignment surgery and is currently sitting on the fence about it. He has done research and is aware of the risks and that sometimes the surgery is not successful or people regret the surgery afterwards. "A relatively common complication of female to male surgery is dysfunction of the penis. Implanting a penile prosthesis is technically difficult and does not have uniformly acceptable results." Drew said he is happy with where he is at right now but the possibility for sex reassignment surgery is still up in the air.

This was my first time talking in person with Drew since high school. It was a bit mind boggling to see and hear all the changes from the last time I saw him. One thing that was really difficult for me and still is, is using the correct proverb. Referring to someone as her and she then suddenly having to refer to them as him and he is more of a challenge than you think it would be. There were a few times where I would catch myself using the wrong proverb and be embarrassed. My face flushed with blood and I instantly could tell my eyes said sorry, knowing I was wrong.

He didn’t mind though. “Trust me, I’m used to it. When I first started going through my transition a lot of people had to learn to make the proverb adjustment. I was confusing to most people because I still looked like a girl but they had to call me Drew and refer to me as a he instead of a she. You’re all good!” I was relieved when he said this! I couldn’t imagine how annoying that would be though. Imagine always having to correct someone when they called you something you weren’t. Even though he was the one making the transition, other

people around him had to make some changes as well.

Now, Drew currently lives with his girlfriend and her baby daughter. He plans on proposing to his girlfriend sometime next year! He views his girlfriend’s daughter as his own and tries to be the best father figure in her life. Drew is genuinely happy with where his life is at right now. “This is the happiest I have been in a long time. I feel confident in my own skin and couldn’t wish for better people in my life.”

Date Night

Friends!

Pre trans

Drew